Blaming on him/her?

Hmm, think I have been shifting blame on him/her and I should just stop doing that. Its so childish to shift blame to others, thinking that its not your fault, but everyone else’s. :(

I should be responsible for my own life.

Yup, i should be. :I

A lesson

In the past, i always wanted to be this kind and that kind of leader, but after years of leadership, i learnt that its not you who WANT to be this kind or that kind of leader, but what type of leader God wants you to be.

I used to think that being a D leader is quite cool, but not now. Its not being D thats cool, but really, its (once again) the care and the concern for ppl under you. PK said, "Ppl dont care how much you know, unless they know how much you care. " VERY IMPT ar.

We can go by another way to teach and educate these ppl, but surely not with that D-ness in us. No ones wants to work under a D person! True, being under a D leader can teach us many things, but not valuable things. It only allows us to be more and more military. I dont wanna be such a person. I give choice, becos God gives choices. He respects us and thus we shld respect our ppl.

I want to care and be concern for these ppl to the best that i can. :)

Sick!!

Been sick for almost a week! And quite sick somemore... Feel so sianz, always sick. Haiz, i think i spent nearly $120 bucks just on visiting the doctor!

Gosh... but thank God i can claim back abt half of it... keke, thank God la. :)

God, i pray that i wont be sick anymore, at least for the sake of..... (keke)

Need to know badly.

I badly need to know what kind of person am i.
What characters do i have.
How do friends see me.

I need to know badly. Badly.

Recent thoughts.

Recently i have been thinking abt friends that i know personally. Am pretty amazed abt how human beings can change fast and much.

I cant say that we are VERY good frens, but i am pretty sure she had seen me as one of those frens that she wants to spend more time with during those days. She used to gimme hugs after hugs, say very nice things abt me and my future, abt what God will do in my life. She seemed so friendly (then).

Few yrs later, she totally changed. I said Hi to her, she did not bother to even say Hi back. I was a little shock. After that i realised she has rise up to a much higher level in her ministry. Frankly speaking, i am happy for her. God really used her fully.

But her unfriendliness makes me feel uncomfy and a little sad. Each time i will check my heart and ask myself if this is hatred, bitterness, grudge, etc. I must admit that it has always been disappointment in how much she changed. In fact some ppl may even think its pride in her. I am not sure. I just hope its none of these, but that she has matured and thus explains the vast difference in character.

Yesterday when PK asked us to release that person that let us down, to forgive them, she came to my mind. But i am pretty sure that i have forgiven her. Its just the SAD and disappointed feeling thats still in me.

If its true. Can fame changed a person?

I believe that you should be who you are no matter what. Be it you are going thru hard times, or that promotions come your way. before famous and after famous, treat your frens the same.

Is $$ everything??

Pretty upset yesterday. Was at a coffeeshop having my dinner and due to the rush for time, i urgently wanted to quickly order a drink to go with my noodles. When i turn to my right, i saw a 30 plus yr old lady, wearing Tiger Uniform walking by. She stopped to ask one of the uncle there if he wants to order a 'drink'. She did the thumbs up sign, but direction is towards her mouth. Obviously she is asking if he wants to order beer to drink. Uncle shook his head to indicate 'No', and immediately i signalled for her to look at me.

The moment she saw me, she look unhappy, becos she know tt i want to make use of her to order non - Tiger drink. She makes commission out of the beers and obviously she isnt happy to help to bring my Green Tea.

After i ordered, she looked at my other frens (same table as me), to ask if they want to order too. Unfortunately, they shook their heads, which means only I am ordering. She was even more "Bu Shuang". Looked really unwilling to bring me my ONE green tea. So, i looked at her unhappy face, and she looked at me, and then someone just came over and i talked to that person. This lady just walked away! My green tea NEVER came...

I mean if you really dont want, SAY DONT WANT pls. i will surely be upset, but i rather you just directly say dont want, then keep me wondering if my green tea is ever going to come.

Quite sad la. I understand now economic crisis and many are affected. But only if we can be more far-sighted, i believe things (overall) can be better.

$$ is NOT everything Auntie.