Almost 1 month!

Gosh, its almost a mth since my last entry here.

Have been really busy at work recently. Unhappy, stressed, anxious, tired, etc.

Not trying to be negative, esp that i have God, but these, unfortunately, are my exact feelings for the past 1 mth. Going into office feeling so stressed, and easily anxious abt work. Even during my Bintan trip and normal weekends, i keep thinking abt work and how never-ending they are.

In the end, i decided to resign. Handed THE letter to my manager on Wednesday. He kinda expected it. Well, afterall i broke down a number of times in my cubicle as well as once in front of him. :I He defended a little and explained that he really did tried his best to bring in the additional headcount, but its beyond his control. After hearing that, i know in my heart that there is nothing more he can do. This position will continue to be THIS heavy.

Just watched Iron Man 2 on thursday and what Virginia Pebble said right after Tony saved her is exactly what I have been feeling all these while, "My body literally cannot take the stress anymore, I quit, I resign!"

My hair was dropping more than usual, having gastric attacks due to stress (i guess) during office hours are not uncommon. Working for more than 10hours with only less than 20mins of lunch was also nothing new in this dept.

Yup...

But, i dont want such lifestyle. I want a work life balance lifestyle. Afterall balance is the key to LIFE.

Hopefully after this, i will be able to find a new job that has work life balance. Not only pays well, but bring satisfaction.

So, my next post......?

Soon! :)

First Love (to God)

My Highest Call, My greatest cause
Is loving You
Your perfect love, has won my heart
Now I am Yours.

Your sacrifice, demands my life
And I will live to honor
Your holy name, the price You paid

So I sing

You're my first love, You're my true love
You're my reason, You are why I breathe
I will give You my devotion
All of me, all of me

You chose the cross, You chose me
Surrender Your life, You chose me
Though I did not deserve, You chose me

So I choose to love, just as You chose me
I put you first, as You first loved me
Ill treasure Your grace as you died for me



Thank You Jesus, for choosing the cross, now its our turn.

Our 1095 days...

My last post was a pretty negative one...enuff of such atmosphere for it can be contagious! haha..
Well, hubby and i celebrated our 1095th day together as hubby & wifey 2 days ago...

Went to a Seafood Restaurant at EC for THE occasion. They have lunch buffet everyday. Mon - Fri is less then 30bucks per person. Think its EX?? Lemme tell you what they have.

Sharks Fins (there is real and quite a size fins inside this bowl below wor..) - limited to 1 serving per person.




Next up, we have abalone (1 small one for each person, also limited to 1 serving per person.)



And of cos not forgetting cray fish, many kinds of fish (oh, their fish is 1 WHOLE fish, even tho its for only 2 pax!), scallops, soft shells, mussels, prawns & many more! i think pretty 'hua-suan' la. :)

Anw, that was on the actual day... it was good, but what really touched me was the 1094th day.

I was working (as usual) and some of you know that i just got transferred to a new dept so there are loads of work to do... As i was feeling a little stress up, he pin me and ask if i would like to have sth to brighten up my day... Of cos i said yes...

He replied, telling me to go to my hp, under video section and play a video with the num "1234" behind the file. I thought he had secretly recorded my sleeping pose or even my snoring sound! But when i open up the file and pressed played..................................................(you can see the video clip at the end of this post. :) )

As i watched the video in my workstation, i just teared and teared and teared... he got me this time round... he did a video of the both of us together since courting days! Apparently, he waited until i slept, before he started to make this video clip... he did it until 2 am... i was SO touched!

Just when i thought thats all, within 2hrs, another surprise came!

I received a call from my receptionist to go down becos there was a bouquet of flowers for me..

I went down and the delivery uncle was there with this bouquet of flowers, wrapped in purplish-pink wrapper!

I was soooooo in shock!

My flowers... i soooooo love it! :)

On our first yr of marriage, he accidentally 'threw away' his wedding band, and for almost 3 yrs, we didnt wear any... so this yr, i decided to get a pair of wedding bands for ourselves again. (he better not lose it again!) :)

To dear : I just want to say that you have earned yourself so much thruout our 7 yrs of journey together. You have earned my respect, my admiration, my love. From only 30 marks, to 70 and now, 80 marks.. Even as we crossed our 3rd yr as hubby & wifey, there will definitely be soooo much more for both of us to learned and explore abt each other, and i am ready for that! Thank you so much for making the effort and i am really VERY VERY touched! Many more yrs ahead!

It is "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times or bad times..."

This, it will always be.

I LOVE YOU.....


The video he did for me... :)

What's happening?!

Feel emotionally draining and tired recently. And the last time i felt this way was more than 10 yrs ago, when he decides to leave me and i was almost left with nothing. Never did i expect that the person who left me drained emotionally isnt someone that is close to me. Even if i hold her close to my heart, she will not appreciate it bah.

One moment chatting away on msn, the other moment ignoring me and giving me black face. Always thought that we are in the same 'league', but now seems i am out of it... Even until now, i have absolutely NO idea why she is angry / unhappy. No idea. I just dunno why... i dunno what is happening?!

The end result of whats happening isnt what she want, NEITHER do i. She seems to be the 'victim', so am i.

Do i look like i am very easily bullied? So much so that anyone can just be angry with me?? _ _ _ _ _ _'s case was just over, and not even one week, _ _ _ _ _ _ is upset with me.... Stimes i do think that if i were to go, it will be better!

She doesnt tell me why she is angry or unhappy.... was it for THAT reason, thats why you were not happy?? If so, lets discuss! If you dont talk, hw would ppl know?? You dont wanna talk abt it? Then its VERY unfair to me! We are all victims of such circumstances and NOBODY wants it this way.... Listen, ME TOO! I nvr wanted it to be this way dear...never...

If you block me frm FB wall, thn might as well block me totally. Since the hurt is alrdy there, even if more is added, it dont make any difference.

True, like what we both agreed, its just a _ _ _ and why let _ _ _ _ win? its NOT worth it at all gal... and to think that i even cried for you...

Forget it. Anw, i am 'leaving' and you wont see me that often, maybe this 'ending' is what you want.

I always thought we were the closest, but since you dont trust me, since you dont appreciate me as a fren, then just forget it.

Well, its just a _ _ _ anyway.